dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
