I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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