so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
