You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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