Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize