And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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