I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
