i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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