What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
