and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
