Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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