needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You may now shotgun with the bride
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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