I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
