My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
