Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
