When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize