I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
