shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
