I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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