it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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