I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
