I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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