I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
