things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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