is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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