I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
