when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
