Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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