My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
apparently the secret to your success is patron
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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