i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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