ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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