i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
