Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
