The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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