The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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