I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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