What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
