All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
