I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
