God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
