Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My vagina just clenched in fear
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize