Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
