Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
