she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize