Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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