Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
