Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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