no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you win again, gameday.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
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