Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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