so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
