Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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