all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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