when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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