I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The power of my boobs compel you
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
