so explain again why im purple
no
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
