If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Floor bacon is actually really good
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
