did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize