Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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