Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i dont even know how to be here
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
